rev.20

Super Smash Bros. Melee

By: Somari Stryker

This was my first game for Gamecube. I will never forget Christmas 2001. The day I got my "Cube of Delight" as I called it for some strange reason that I cannot comprehend. I guess I was drunk at the time. Anyway, As soon as I stuck my SSBM disk into the Gamecube, I noticed the best part of the whole game. The intro screen. The best few seconds of my life. It was almost like watching TV only it was a video game. "hode up..." I thought. "Where've i seen this before?" despite my lack of brain cells and correct grammer, I finally came to the conclusion that I have viewed this intro at my local Wal-Mart about 32 times before. Haha.. Wal-Mart... Now that I have my cube, I will never be forced to look up at the smallest TV screen imaginable again. Never again will I have W-MVGSNS. What is that you may ask. Wal-Mart Video Game Screen Neck Syndrome. Not Taco Bell's Taco Neck Syndrome. Who really turns their head sideways to eat a taco anyway? I'd much faster turn the frickin taco sideways than turn my head and be rushed to the ER. W-MVGSNS on the other hand is what you get when you play the Gamecube at Wal-Mart for longer than it's 20 minute limit. I used to find myself looking down and moving my head in a circular motion to relieve some of the pain. Now I can look straight ahead and not worry about some fake syndrome that I came up with because it sounded funny at the time but now it's starting to get stupid so I'll quit now here I go. Yep. My TV is right in front of my face. Wait a minute... I was talking about SSBM. Righto then.

There are 25 characters in all. Ranging from Pokemon to Donkey Kong. SSBM has it all. For all of you idiots who don't want to know the hidden characters, I will not mention any of them during this entire review so quit worrying. It's not like they put Marth, Roy, Mr. Game and Watch, Luigi, Jigglypuff, Mewtwo, Dr. Mario, Ganondorf, Falco, Young Link, and Pichu in the game anyway! Hahahahahaa! Oops. Well, I guess I'm done.

SSBM also has a lot of levels to play on. My favorite is Big Blue. Lots of F-Zero racers below you, Falcon flyer above you, and if you touch the ground, you will zoom toward the end of the screen just like if you really jumped out of a car moving 600 MPH.

My favorite character is Falco. He is speedy and strong. He also looks the coolest if you give him the White Jacket and blue pants. Now I can say that SSBM is cool. it's cool trust me.

Strategy: Yah, it helps to have a strategy.

Sports: uhhh nah.

Shooter: First person? No. But there are guns.

Racing: Race to the Finish!

RPG: No, sadly.

Puzzle: I can't think of any...

Fighting: Yes there is a lot of fighting.

Arcade: no

Adventure: Yes there is an adventure mode.