interview 6

Luigi Mario

Written by Zelda's Fox 38

Okay, my life has now gone everyone in a pinballistic sort of way, banging itself against walls in an attempt to . . .Uh . . .Well, you get the point. Pinball's a simple game, but unfortunatily, life is not.

I needed to do a new interview, and fast! Super Smash Brothers Melee was approaching, and I needed to interview a secret character. Well, there were rumors who was in, but Jigglypuff and Luigi were in for sure. And, knowing I had to choose one over the other, I chose the one I would get paid more for doing . . .

Luigi!! Why the heck not? I was going to interview him sooner or later, and now with he having a new game and being a secret character, I figured, "Heck, let's do this thing!"

ZF38: (estatic) Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, strange aliens and . . .goobers that live on my sister's wall . . .

Lutania: (angry) HEY!!

ZF38: (rolls eyes) Go home, Lutania. Loddie's looking for you.

Lutania: (gasps) How do you know about Loddie??

Luigi: (clearing throat) Ahem . . .

ZF38: (embarrassed) Oh, sorry about that, Mr. Stryker. May I present to all of you people here at Super Smash Brothers Unlimtied Mr. Luigi Stryker!! Give the old man a round of applause!!

Luigi: (ashamed) I'm nota old . . .

ZF38: (correcting) Yeah, but you're my boss' old man.

Luigi: (shruggs) Kids' slangsa now-a-days.

ZF38: (beginning) So, Mr. Stryker. Can I call you Luigi instead?

Luigi: (nodding) Goa head . . .Make mya day . . .

ZF38: (continuing) All right. So, my first question is . . .Who is Somari's mother?

Luigi: (surprised) Why, he didn'ta tell youa? It's . . .

The following content is blocked out. Thank you very much. We will return to the interview shortly.

ZF38: (shocked) What was that?

Luigi: (guesses) I thinka it's a security edit, so Somari's mother isn't revealed.

ZF38: (agrees) Weird . . .So, question 2. Why the heck haven't you beat up Mario yet?

Luigi: (whispers) Youa really want to know? It's because . . .Bowser alwaysa beats him up before me!! Ia tell him to just througha him in a lava pit, but then he finishes the joba!! I wanna beat up Mario!!

ZF38: (laughs) Eh, what are you going to do? It's Bowser. He doesn't know his wife from his butt.

Bowser: (surly) I NOT STUPID!!!

ZF38: (sleek) You said it, not me.

Luigi: (groans) Can wea order something to eat? I forgot toa eat breakfast this morning.

ZF38: (shruggs) Whatever.

So I go and order a Domino's. No anchovies, though. I hate anchovies!! If any pizza idiot puts anchovies on my pizza, there's going to be hell to pay!!!

Luigi: (approves) Nicea threat with the anchovies. Where did youa learn that?

ZF38: (laughs) A ninja by the name of Michealangelo. Now, back to the interview . . .What are your opinions on the rest of the Super Smash Brothers elite that you work with?

Luigi: (thinks deeply) Wella . . .I havea got to say, that Samus Aran is the most charming woman I havea ever worked with. I'm glad she'sa Somari's date! Link's okay, but hea gets tooa moody. Donkey Kong . . .well . . .You have to watch your back with him . . . Thea Ice Climber duo, Jigglypuff, Pikachu, and Yoshi are too difficult to underastand. Kirby's alwaysa eating my lunch, so it'sa tough love with him, if you get mya point. Ness is okay, depending ona his temper. Captaina Falcon is a bit too arrigonta to me. Fox, he's a character, but he has a little bit of a *ahem* language problem.

ZF38: (confused) We talking about the same McCloud here?

Luigi: (nodds) Yeah. He keepsa switching from English to Lylatalian on us!! Youa think you know what he'sa saying, but then he goes into a weird language.

ZF38: (suprised) Ooh. That kind of lan . .

Suddenly, the room began to tremor. Luigi and I were knocked off our chairs, and almost unconscious too. I looked up to see the foulest scum in my life . . .Worse than my sister, worse than my dad . . .It was . . .

ZF38: (cursing) AGGH!!! Ganon!!! I'm in the middle of an interview!!! Can't you go . . .do something else?

Ganon: (piggy formed now) Ah come on!!! I could take you on!!!!

Luigi: (smooth) Yeaha right. That's what you saida last Christamas . . .Remembera the broken taila incident?

Ganon: (threatening) Stop this interview or I'll tell everyone about . . .

ZF38: (ticked) Bring it out into the public, pig-poo . . .

Ganon: (finishing) You being my daughter-in-law!!!!

Somari & Luigi: (from wherever Somari came in) !!!!!